1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:04,004
Previously on Georgie and Mandy's
First Marriage...
2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,615
Fred, would you like
to have dinner with me?
3
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:07,964
I would love to.
4
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,444
As long as this
Fagenbacher thing
5
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,141
is going on, I ain't got
nothing to say to you.
6
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I can live with that.
7
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,453
♪ ♪
8
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,194
How about this:
9
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,848
Troy Aikman, Dallas Cowboys
cheerleader and a football?
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,763
Oh, yeah, that could be fun.
11
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,330
What are y'all talking about?
12
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,941
Clearly, they're trying to
keep their marriage spicy.
13
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,554
We're trying to come up
with a family Halloween costume.
14
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Oh, CeeCee would be
15
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,340
such a cute football.
16
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,039
I know, and this might be the
last year that we get to pick
17
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:41,084
before she starts
having her own ideas.
18
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,912
I remember when Connor was five.
19
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I wanted him to go as Pete Rose.
20
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,394
He wanted to go as pants.
21
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As what?
22
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You heard me.
Pants.
23
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,141
I got it.
Jurassic Park.
24
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,752
I'll be Jeff Goldblum,
you'll be the hot blonde lady,
25
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,014
and CeeCee can be the T. rex.
26
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,016
Hey, that hot blonde lady
has a name.
27
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,191
What is it?
28
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,193
Just because I don't
know it doesn't mean
29
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,412
she doesn't have one.
30
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,893
You think Mary
can make a T. rex costume?
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,634
As long as my mom's
dating Fagenbacher,
32
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I ain't asking her for nothing.
33
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,985
Can't you make it?
34
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,249
What? Not all girls know
how to sew, Georgie.
35
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:16,946
Well, I think
girls can do anything,
36
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,861
but I guess I'm a feminist.
37
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,471
[scoffs]
38
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I'll make it for you.
39
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,085
Are you sure?
Sounds pretty complicated.
40
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,739
Don't listen to him.
You go, girl.
41
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♪ ♪
42
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,242
[coos]
43
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MANDY:
So,
44
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,250
any Halloween plans?
45
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,470
Well, Missy's going to a party,
46
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,689
and Georgie won't let me
trick-or-treat with you.
47
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,343
Well, of course you can.
48
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,215
Just wear a mask,
carry an accordion,
49
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,738
and I'll tell everyone
you're Connor.
50
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,871
It's fine.
I'll just be here by myself.
51
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,135
So, uh,
52
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:18,616
no friends are coming over?
53
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,053
Fred is out of town,
if that's what you're asking.
54
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,620
Well, I could have
meant any friend.
55
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:25,493
Like Pastor Jeff or...
56
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,756
or Jesus.
57
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:32,326
Jesus will be here passing out
candy and Bible verses with me.
58
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,979
Okay, I don't want
to tell you what to do,
59
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,677
but it better be good candy.
60
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,722
Bye.
61
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:38,984
Where are you going?
62
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,334
To the mall with Heather.
63
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,726
We're getting stuff
for our costumes.
64
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,163
Okay, but you know the rules.
65
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No demons, no killers,
no cleavage.
66
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,604
And if you are gonna be a ghost,
it better be the holy one.
67
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,649
So, what are you going as?
68
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,042
Me and my friends are gonna be
the Spice Girls.
69
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,957
That sounds cute.
70
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,177
So, everyone's
a different spice?
71
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,353
Exactly.
72
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:01,790
I'm Ginger.
73
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,922
That's a good one,
very seasonal.
74
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That's why I chose it.
75
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,796
Got to go.
76
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,321
Well, speaking of costumes,
what are you going as?
77
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,497
A dinosaur.
78
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,891
- [gasps]
- Yeah, we're doing
a little Jurassic Park thing.
79
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,893
Oh, that'll be fun to make.
80
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,068
I better get started.
81
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,462
Oh, um,
82
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,855
actually, my mom's
gonna make it this year.
83
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,944
- Really?
- Yeah.
84
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,773
She wanted to, and Georgie...
85
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:31,341
- Is punishing me.
- Yeah.
86
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,083
[sighs]
Your mother must be loving this.
87
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:35,476
Oh, she just wants to help.
88
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,651
Help Georgie punish me?
89
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,087
Yeah.
90
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,269
Damn it!
91
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,837
- Problem?
- No, everything's fine.
92
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:52,232
So that was a "damn it"
of victory?
93
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,016
I'm figuring it out.
94
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,670
I still have a couple more days.
95
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,411
My costume should be easy.
96
00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,151
I'm going
as Phantom of the Opera.
97
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:02,242
Or you can be a grown-up.
98
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:03,634
Phantom is a grown-up.
99
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,506
Kids don't go to the opera.
100
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,117
Please tell me
you're not trick-or-treating.
101
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,858
Don't be ridiculous.
102
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,381
I'm gonna sit on
the front porch with my keyboard
103
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,253
and terrify the children
musically.
104
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:14,950
[Audrey yells]
105
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,604
This is so frustrating.
106
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,258
Well, let's see what you got.
107
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,350
Hey, that's pretty good.
108
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:24,960
- Really?
- Yeah.
109
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,570
Yeah, look, there's the head,
110
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,006
and then you got that,
you know, circle thing
111
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,966
on the chest
and then them triangles.
112
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,795
You really know your shapes,
Dad. Good job.
113
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,536
It's terrible.
114
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,146
I'm gonna have to go back
to the fabric store
115
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,713
and start all over.
116
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,498
You can always tell people
CeeCee made the costume herself.
117
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,066
Do you think that's helpful?
118
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,111
No, I thought it was funny.
119
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,592
Honey, you're overthinking this,
okay? She's three.
120
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,073
You could dress her in a garbage
bag and she'd be happy.
121
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,423
I sure was the year
I went as a garbage bag.
122
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,736
So, you gonna come trick-or-
treating with us tonight?
123
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,694
You mean do I want
to walk around with a kid
124
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,435
who's having a meltdown
'cause of an itchy costume
125
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,828
and a sugar high?
126
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,917
We ain't gonna let her
have that much candy.
127
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,614
I was talking about you.
128
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,487
Sorry I'm late.
129
00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,140
Hey, what you got there?
130
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,925
Picked up some horror movies
for tonight.
131
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,144
Ooh, scary movies on Halloween.
132
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,798
Someone's got a date.
133
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,191
Is it that Sophia girl?
134
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,062
Nah, they broke up
a few weeks ago.
135
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,891
Is it, uh-- what's her name--
the-the dental hygienist?
136
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,546
No, he lied to her
about flossing,
137
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,679
and so she couldn't
trust him anymore.
138
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,986
You guys know way too much
about my life.
139
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,945
Excuse us for carin'.
140
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,860
Karen.
Her name was Karen.
141
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,603
So what'd you get?
142
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,128
- Friday the 13th?
- What's wrong with that?
143
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:47,434
The girls who have sex
in that movie
144
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:48,826
are the ones that get killed.
145
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,785
Not the message
you want to send.
146
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,613
What else you got?
147
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,266
Dawn of the Dead?
148
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:57,487
Zombies? Their skin's falling
off, they're eating people.
149
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:00,055
If she's turned on by that,
get out.
150
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:01,752
What about Child's Play?
151
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,189
[scoffs]
Do yourself a favor. Go back
152
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,539
and rent a vampire movie.
153
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,455
Everybody knows
they're the sexiest monsters.
154
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,934
Everybody knows that?
155
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,459
I'm sorry.
What do you think
156
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,765
- the sexiest monster is?
- I don't know.
157
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,419
Creature from the Black Lagoon.
158
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,334
Lives underwater,
watch girls swim.
159
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,988
That is not
160
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,382
- okay, Mr. McAllister.
- What is wrong with you?
161
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,171
Okay, Mom,
which is spookier?
162
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,651
One?
163
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,131
[plays eerie riff]
164
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,524
Or two?
165
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,744
[plays same eerie riff]
166
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,530
Those sound the same.
167
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,185
One's a pipe organ
and one's a church organ.
168
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,230
Are you even listening?
169
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,364
Connor, I'm trying
to get this ready for tonight.
170
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,933
What do you think?
171
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,108
Looks much better.
172
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,936
It does, doesn't it?
173
00:06:55,893 --> 00:07:00,507
Took a couple of do-overs,
but I stuck with it.
174
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:02,465
I hope that's a lesson to you.
175
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,902
Don't volunteer to do something
I can't do. Got it.
176
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,556
[doorbell rings]
177
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,912
[plays eerie riff
on synthesizer]
178
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,653
Oh, yeah, that's the one.
179
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,743
- Mary.
- Don't worry, I'm not staying.
180
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,919
I just wanted to drop
something off for CeeCee.
181
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,791
Oh, that is so sweet.
182
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,010
I'm so sorry.
She isn't here.
183
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:29,753
I would've loved for you
to have seen her in her costume.
184
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,320
Which I made.
185
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,670
- Well, isn't that precious.
- [laughs]
186
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,020
It was challenging, but
187
00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,674
CeeCee's worth it.
188
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,285
Well, I guess
there was no reason for me
189
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,113
to bring this by.
190
00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:45,900
You made her a costume?
191
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,816
[plays dramatic sting
on keyboard]
192
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,252
Would you get out of here?!
193
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,778
I made it just in case.
194
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:57,433
Just in case what--
mine was terrible?
195
00:07:57,607 --> 00:08:00,436
But it's not.
It is perfectly fine.
196
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,743
It is perfectly fine!
197
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,440
That is what I said.
198
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,138
You know, this is petty,
even for you.
199
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:09,227
I have always
made CeeCee's costumes,
200
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,055
and you stole it from me.
201
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:13,014
Twice isn't always.
202
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,016
It is when you're three!
203
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,409
It's not my fault your son
doesn't want you around.
204
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,020
[dramatic music sting plays]
205
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:22,458
Go further away!
206
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:26,897
I am just trying to give my
granddaughter a great Halloween.
207
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,986
Well, if all you care about
is CeeCee,
208
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,772
then you should want her to wear
whichever costume is best.
209
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:34,688
Hmm.
Which one is that?
210
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,212
Get out of my house.
211
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,953
Gladly.
212
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:42,522
I'm just gonna leave this
right here for CeeCee.
213
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,794
Damn, that's well-made.
214
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,805
Mom, why would you
throw this away? It's amazing.
215
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,807
I owe you an apology.
216
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,287
I didn't think
you could pull this off.
217
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,986
Mary made that to spite me.
218
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,642
You know, now
that I look at it closer...
219
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:16,817
Oh, stop it.
220
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,645
Well, she wasted her time,
221
00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,647
because I want CeeCee
to wear your costume.
222
00:09:20,908 --> 00:09:22,213
- Really?
- [door opens]
- Yeah, of course.
223
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,476
Where is it?
224
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,478
Dang.
That's incredible!
225
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,958
No, no. No. No.
226
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,960
- No, it's not.
- What are you talking about?
227
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,658
It's, like, the best costume
I've ever seen.
228
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,530
Your mom made this one.
229
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,271
You know,
now that I'm looking...
230
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,055
No, I already tried that.
231
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,189
Don't worry.
CeeCee ain't wearing that.
232
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,494
She's wearing yours.
233
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,801
No. I don't want her
to wear mine.
234
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,238
I'm sure it's great.
Go get it.
235
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:49,327
- I don't want to.
- Mom, come on.
236
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,894
Amanda, I said no.
237
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:54,115
CeeCee can wear this one
because it's her Halloween.
238
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,334
Mary may be the better sewer...
239
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,294
...but I'm the better person.
240
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,647
Dang.
I feel terrible.
241
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,954
- Me too.
- But this costume is amazing.
242
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,999
- I know. We're gonna take
so many pictures.
- Mm!
243
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,705
Okay, I'm heading out
to my party. Love you.
244
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:22,360
MARY:
Wait a second.
I want to see your costume.
245
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,232
Why are you wearing a coat?
246
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,931
It's my costume. See?
It's the color of ginger.
247
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:31,413
Melissa Cooper,
what are you hiding under there?
248
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,850
- Nothing.
- Give it to me.
249
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:40,074
Absolutely not.
250
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,292
It's not that short.
251
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,686
[scoffs] You look
like a British stripper.
252
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,950
She's a singer,
and she's super popular.
253
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,910
I bet she is.
254
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,694
You are not going out like that.
255
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,740
I have to.
It's a group costume.
256
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,437
There's five Spice Girls.
257
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:57,961
Well, tonight,
there can be four Spice Girls
258
00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,747
and their decent friend
with self-respect.
259
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:04,446
Fine. I'll change.
Maybe I'll go
260
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,188
as "girl whose psycho mom
is trying to control her life."
261
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,799
Great. Sounds like
a costume with pants.
262
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,629
♪ ♪
263
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,678
[playing scary music,
eerie chord]
264
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,724
Take some candy... if you dare.
265
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,291
You are not scary.
266
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,641
Really? That chord
is an augmented fourth,
267
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,338
better known
as the devil's interval.
268
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,340
- [plays eerie chord]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
269
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,342
One piece, one piece!
270
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,693
Didn't even say,
"Trick or treat."
271
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,782
♪ ♪
272
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:41,744
Trick or treat.
273
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,921
Ah, look
at that little dinosaur!
274
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:48,011
That is just the cutest costume
I've ever seen.
275
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,886
Trick or treat.
276
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:55,236
Oh.
Did you make that costume?
277
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,672
Her nana did.
278
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,109
You're lucky you have
such a talented nana.
279
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,984
Trick or treat.
280
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,595
Wow!
That is the best cost...
281
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,640
We know!
282
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,733
[dramatic movie music playing]
283
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,216
What are you doing here?
284
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,610
I forgot my wallet.
What are you doing here?
285
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,178
Wait.
Is your date here?
286
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,614
Is she in the bathroom?
287
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,181
'Cause I think that's
where I left my wallet.
288
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,618
No.
No one's here.
289
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,272
Oh.
She stand you up?
290
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:32,752
That's sad.
291
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,276
There's no date.
There was never a date.
292
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:39,062
Abuela's got a guy over, so
I'm watching movies by myself.
293
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:41,543
That's even sadder.
294
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,719
Thank you.
That helps.
295
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,157
Yeah, well, I'll grab my wallet
and get out of your...
296
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,073
I was gonna say hair,
but you're having a tough night.
297
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,249
I'm fine.
298
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,773
[movie music playing]
299
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,733
You know...
300
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,910
...I could pick up
a six-pack, hang out,
301
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,607
maybe order some pizza?
302
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,349
You really want to do that?
303
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,569
My wife's upset
about some dumb costume
304
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,745
and my son's sitting
on the porch wearing a cape.
305
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,616
I really, really
want to do that.
306
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,705
Sounds good.
307
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,229
All right.
308
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,972
You order the pizza, I'll be
right back with the beer.
309
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,366
Forgot my wallet again.
310
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,249
[door opens]
311
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,817
[gasps]
Oh.
312
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,951
Melissa Cooper!
I know you're out there!
313
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,390
[door closes]
314
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,573
What are you doing?
315
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:58,011
Do not play dumb with me.
316
00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,013
We got egged?
317
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,363
Do people think
Sheldon still lives here?
318
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,366
I know you are mad about
your costume, but that
319
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,194
is no excuse.
320
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,412
I didn't do this.
321
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,979
Well, then who did?
322
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:13,417
I don't know. Did you hand out
Bible verses again?
323
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:14,854
Okay, that is it.
324
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,551
- You are grounded. Get inside.
- Fine.
325
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:19,641
Actually, no,
I am going inside.
326
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,773
You clean this mess up!
327
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,212
If I had done it, I would have
waited till you answered,
328
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,518
then egged you!
329
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:34,047
Well, that was dumb.
It's a doll with a knife.
330
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,831
Sorry it's not
a black and white movie
331
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:37,354
about an underwater pervert.
332
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:42,272
He wasn't a pervert,
and they were in his lagoon.
333
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,885
Thanks for sticking around.
334
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,277
No problem.
335
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,410
[sighs]
336
00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,499
You don't think Halloween's
gonna be one of those holidays
337
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,415
that make you feel bad
about being single...
338
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,852
but everywhere you look,
it's happy families.
339
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,854
You did not look at my house.
340
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:01,378
I just always thought,
at this point in my life,
341
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,033
I'd have kids to take
trick-or-treating, and...
342
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,730
I'm not even close.
343
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,081
Oh, you got plenty of time.
344
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,605
You know, Clint Eastwood's
having a baby in his sixties,
345
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:13,608
which sounds terrible,
but you can do it.
346
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,219
I don't know.
347
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,439
The girls that like me
I don't like.
348
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,049
And the girls I like are
349
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,269
crazier than that doll
with a knife.
350
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,185
Just keep looking,
you'll find someone.
351
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,708
[scoffs]
Easy for you to say.
352
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,275
I'm serious.
353
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,495
Women just want a good guy
with a steady job
354
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,541
who's smart and kind.
355
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,369
That's you.
356
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:37,066
Thanks.
357
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,241
I mean it.
358
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,940
You're gonna be a great dad
someday.
359
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:47,424
Got to say, you're better
at this than I thought you'd be.
360
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,339
I had a teenage daughter.
I know
361
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,559
how to talk to drama queens
about their love life.
362
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:53,909
That's more like it.
363
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,217
Least I don't have to pretend
your new bangs look great.
364
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,700
Well, she cried a lot,
but she's asleep.
365
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,920
Your mom or CeeCee?
366
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:08,402
CeeCee. I think my mom is
taking one of her wine baths.
367
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,578
Are we terrible parents
if we eat this candy?
368
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,623
You kidding me?
We carried her for 20 blocks.
369
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:13,973
Get in there
and find me a Snickers.
370
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,018
[doorbell rings]
371
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,456
Little late for
trick-or-treaters.
372
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,285
Yeah, it's probably some
teenager not even in a costume.
373
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,419
Nailed it.
374
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,116
I cannot deal
with Mom right now.
375
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,988
- What'd she do?
- She saw my costume
376
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,599
and freaked out, and then
we got into a huge fight,
377
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,296
and she accused me
of egging the house.
378
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,864
- You egged the house?
- No.
379
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,258
It's okay.
We've all thought about it.
380
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,042
I didn't do it.
381
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,522
Didn't do what?
382
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,524
Oh, Mary thinks
Missy egged their house.
383
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,961
Which I didn't,
and no one believes me.
384
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:47,919
Well, I believe you.
385
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,618
Why?
386
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:52,837
Because I don't think
Missy would lie to me.
387
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,839
Why?
388
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,625
- Can I stay here?
- I don't know
if that's a good idea.
389
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,801
Yeah, if you don't go home,
your mom's gonna go ballistic.
390
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,325
Of course you can stay here,
391
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,067
as long as you want.
392
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,026
- Mom.
- What?
393
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,637
We can't let her go home
to that woman.
394
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,117
Fine, but someone
should call my mom
395
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,640
and let her know Missy's here.
396
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,816
- I'd be happy to call her.
- Not you.
397
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,255
MISSY:
And
398
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,170
Joey Ambrozi totally ignored me
399
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,303
and spent the whole night
talking to Heather.
400
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,610
Look, I know you're upset,
but take my word for it.
401
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,221
Do not get bangs.
402
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:31,920
Missy, grab your backpack.
I'll take you to school.
403
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,356
[sighs]
I don't think
404
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:34,357
I can go to school.
I had such a rough night.
405
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,098
Nice try.
406
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,669
[door closes]
407
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,801
Oh, my God,
last night was crazy.
408
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:45,238
Sorry, I'm tapped out.
409
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:47,457
[doorbell rings]
410
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,068
AUDREY:
I've got it.
411
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:55,596
- I am here for my daughter.
- She left for school.
412
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,426
You took my son,
my granddaughter, and now Missy.
413
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,558
Is there anything else
you want to take from me?
414
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,647
I didn't take anything from you.
415
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:06,868
Missy is free to leave
whenever she wants.
416
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,348
I don't care what she wants.
417
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,089
She is coming home tonight.
418
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:12,308
Well, you can take her,
but can you keep her?
419
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:15,311
'Cause she seems
a whole lot happier here.
420
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,967
You know what?
You want her?
421
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,448
- She's yours.
- Great.
422
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:25,669
Congratulations.
Enjoy having a teenage daughter.
423
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:34,765
So... I have some news.
424
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,986
Where are all the eggs?
425
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,473
[water running]
426
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,475
Missy, other people
need the bathroom.
427
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,129
MISSY:
I'm in the shower!
428
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,479
You've been in there
for, like, 45 minutes.
429
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,045
MISSY:
And there's still hot water.
430
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,569
This place is amazing.
431
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,484
Is she still in there?
432
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:59,050
Yeah, and I got to get to work.
433
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,879
[sighs] Is there anybody
in Mom and Dad's shower?
434
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,273
- I don't think so.
- Dibs!
435
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,408
[sighs]
Oh, my.
436
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:13,848
What are you doing?
437
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,284
Missy's hogging the shower.
438
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,417
I can use dish soap, right?
439
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:20,333
It ain't gonna burn
any sensitive areas?
440
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,164
So this is how we live now.
441
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,862
It's fine, Jim.
We are winning.
442
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:40,527
Captioning sponsored by
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443
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,660
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
444
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,707
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